Thursday, December 13, 2007


It is 8:30 the night before we are supposed to get the keys to our new house. Marcelo is working and my kids are finally asleep. I should be packing, i should be doing something to organize for the move this weekend. Instead I have checked my email, my myspace, called my mother in law and am now writing here. I have been so antsy the past few days...waiting and waiting for the time to come when we can finally start moving boxes over. Now that the paint is finally dry and the fence is up and beautiful I am feeling overwhelmed...a little nostalgic too. Will every thing go as planned, will the kids be happy.. I am sure they will, they have been so excited up to this point.

Nicolas is up and asking for water so I suppose this is my que to get up and start putting the rest of this house in boxes.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

The Christmas House

Like everything great that has happened in our relationship the newest adventure is also unexpected. As some of you may know Marcelo and I have been looking into buying a rental property. During one of our family drives we drove past a cute new neighborhood, they were having an open house and we stopped just for fun.... we looked at the flyer and the neighborhood and it was the craziest feeling. I am not overly religious at this point in my life but I am the first to admit that there has been divine intervention in every major change that has happened in our lives together. We just new that this was such a good decision for our family, that it was a good place and the right place to be. And since then all of the peices have been falling into place...Marcelo and I usually are at each others throats when major things like this are going on but we have been so peaceful and calm and just put it in the hands of a higher power, or fate or whatever you choose to call it.

It is a great house and we are thrilled. There is a cute new park right around the corner so we can ride our bikes there whenever.

What can I say, it is totally unexpected and crazy and wonderful.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Halloween fun

sorry that these pictures are up so late. I've had no time. We had such a fun halloween night, being together with so many friends and family made trick or treating all the more fun. Our family is so blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives. What a crazy night!

baby abby lynn

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Just had to share a picture of one of the cutest babies that I know. This is melanies new addition: Abby lynn.

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Sunday, October 14, 2007

MOMS club Pumpkin patch trip

We had such a fun time at the plumper pumpkin patch the other day. It was our first time to visit this particular farm and we will definitly make it a tradition, there were animals and hayrides, a 40 ft slide, even pony rides.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

we survived

whew, I sat down today and looked at the calender and am completely floored by the fact that almost a month of school has passed. A few short weeks ago I was paniced about how I was going to handle juggling kids school, work, and still maintain some semblance of a personal life. Now a month later I am out there swimming with the rest....I've signed up to volunteer as an art literacy teacher at the elementary school, be a kindergarden classroom mom, work the book fair and be a scrapbooker and party planner at Amy's preschool. I am still enjoying being the activities coordinator for our moms club and working a lot with Marcelo for our Carpet Cleaning business. We are also hoping to reach out into other business opportunities soon as well (more about that will come later).

I've also found a fun hobby, my new sewing machine has finally gotten some use. In the last few weeks I have made amy a new skirt, finished their little quilts and designed "super Nicolas" and "super amy" capes.

A few days ago a friend of mine was over for lunch and we while we were chatting she told me that she thought I needed to slow down, take it easy and not work so hard. At the time I laughed it off, later her words kept coming back to me. Am I doing to much? Do I feel too stressed out? Its true that I laugh now when I think about how I didn't know what I was going to do with all of my free time in the far there has been no free time!! But the answer is that I don't feel stressed out (maybe its the meds talking!) but i feel invigerated and alive. I love to be busy, I love to be involved. Maybe my laundry is always a day behind and there have been days when we have to eat on the run and there are moments when I am exhausted and just want to take a break....but I feel good and I feel happy. This is a wonderful life and I am enjoying living it to the fullest!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


My baby! ok, i know...its only part day twice a week. But just the fact that my BABY is old enough to start preschool gives me a chill. She has been waiting for this, watching her brother go off to preschool for two years and now off to kindergarten she is more then ready for it to be her turn. My little princess who clings to mommy and crys whenever I leave the room gave me a wonderful hug and a big smile and ushered me out the preschool door. I am so proud of her....I did have a minor panic attack last night at the realization that I might never have a baby in the house again......makes me doubt my decision just a little.


I can hardly believe that my oldest is off to kindergarten. It feels like just yesterday that Marcelo and I were bringing him home and oohing over his cute little chubs. Now he seems so big and independant, everyday I look at him and he seems older with no way for me to slow down the process.

I will admit that I was the sappy mommy who came home from dropping him off and cried in the private of my room. The tears weren't tears of fear for him, no, he is strong and smart and I know he will excel. My tears were for the ending of such a wonderful faze in our lives, days full of sesame street and impromptue trips to the zoo. This next faze will be fun and wonderful and full of joy as well I am sure. TO me the first day of kindergarten seems just the first in a journey of steps that will take them further and further away from mommy....pray that I lead them well.

Nicolas 5th Birthday

I know, I know I am sooo behind. Things have been so crazy around here with birthdays and back to school I have had no time. So here are the pictures that everyone has been asking for! We had a blast for Nicolas' birthday and were so blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful family and friends. As he went to bed that night my little man thanked me for giving him a "special birthday at chuck e cheese". Thanks is not something that we hear often as moms and I will always treasure that moment with him.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Amy's Haircut

I was going to write about this last night but mommy was still feeling little traumatized. My youngest Amy has been blessed with her paternal grandmothers beautiful hair. She was born with a full head of dark thick wavy hair that grows faster then anything I have ever seen. When wet it reaches completely down her back and hits her cute little patootie. I will admit this is a small source of vanity for mom as well as daughter.

It is always a little nerve racking for me to take her to get a haircut, at 3 1/2 she has only been twice. One of my husbands favorite things to tease me about it cutting her hair.

Today while I was working in the office my little monsters were watching a movie downstairs, this is pretty common for them to do while I am on a work phone call. I went down to check on them and they were happily playing together and I left the room proud that they were behaving so well. Less then 10 minutes later my 4 year old walked into the room with his craft scissors and a handful of...MY DAUGHTERS HAIR! and says "hahaha mommy, look at amys hair" in as innocent a voice as possible. Amy runs in just as happy and giggly. To them this is just a game.

Mommy was speechless to say the least....I rushed over to amy (after confiscating the scissors from my son who was starting to look a little worried that maybe this game hadn't been such a good idea). At first look it didn't look to bad, then I started running my hands through her hair, and coming up with handfuls of it! To keep myself from ringing their little necks I sent them both to their rooms and called my mother in law so she could convince me not to kill her grandkids!!!

After I had calmed down I rushed both kids into the car and over to our hairdressers. I walked in with amy's hair in a zip lock baggie (as if they'd be able to reattatch it somehow! haha) and said "he cut it off!" She was so sweet, took amy right away and convinced me with a little trimming and layering it would look fine and still keep a lot of the length.

The only unfixable part was the nice little patch that he cut down to about half an inch in the middle of her forehead!! And if you look really close you can tell how one peice in the back looks a little to short. Everytime I look at it I have to remind myself "It will grow back, it will grow back" "they were just being kids, don't kill them"

I have some great blackmail pictures for the future though, When they are 15 and I need leverage of some kind I can pull out these pics and say "remember when you were 3 and 4 and mommy didn't kill you!!!!!!"

Taylor Jensens Birthday

The kids had so much fun celebrating their friend Taylors birthday with a special afternoon at the park. Melanie is like a sister to me and I feel so lucky to have her love and friendship in my life for such a long time. I feel equally blessed that now our children have developed a special friendship with each other as well.
Thanks for letting us celebrate with you Taylor, we love you.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

the romero simpsons hahaha

Friday, August 17, 2007

Baby Shower

THanks everyone who came to the baby shower. We had so much fun and it was so fun celebrating the coming arrival of our two new moms club babies!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Miami Pictures part two

Miami Pictures part one

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Bethany's 20th Birthday

We just celebrated Bethany's 20th birthday by having a quiet sisters only night at the Melting Pot restaurant. The food there is aaamazing and the atmosphere such a nice change from the hectic kid friendly places I am used to patroning. I can hardly believe that my gangly little kid sister is now 20. Makes me feel a little old...not to many years until I turn 30. 30!!! Where does the time go?

Monday, July 9, 2007

live earth concert

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Strawberries and Jam

Friday, May 25, 2007

Trinity Lutheran Preschool Class of 2007

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

All about Me

I just finished writing a profile entitled "all about me" for our monthly MOMS club newsletter. Hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it.

All about me by Megan Romero
I was born in Richmond VA in 1980. My mother was diabetic and the pregnancy was very hard on her body, partially through the pregnancy her retina’s detached and she lost her eye sight. For our family this disease was a defining structure and shaped the course of all of our lives.

In 1982 we moved to Oregon, my fathers’ home state, and I grew up here in Beaverton. I love it here and have a hard time imagining living anywhere else. My sister and I had a good childhood, we traveled a lot and I got to see many fascinating places. The beginning of my sophomore year in college my mom passed away. I had missed so much school flying back and forth that I just didn’t have the motivation to catch up and I left school to be with my Dad and my sister. So, the first half this sounds like my moms life story but it is so integrated that I have a hard time separating the two.

I’m going to backtrack a little here…. I met my husband my senior year at westview high school. I was sitting in the back of my first class of the day when a boy I knew only as an acquaintance walked in and sat next to me. I thought he was handsome and of course was smitten by the strong sexy accent he still carried (he had only moved to the US from Ecuador a few years before). We hit it off immediately and before long were going “steady” much to the chagrin of my parents who were not pleased at my intrigue in the boy who rode motorcycles and was not a member of our church. But I was in love.

When we graduated in 1998 I went off to Ricks College in Idaho and Marcelo stayed here to go to PCC. Marcelo used to drive the 12 hours to come and visit me almost monthly at school. We were crazy! The following year he finally joined me and enrolled at Ricks College himself. I was torn between my feelings for him and my family’s uncertainty about him. In February of 2000, after my Mom passed and I moved back to Oregon I decided that Marcelo and I were over for good and I even started seeing someone else. It didn’t last for long, as soon as Marcelo returned from school in the summer those old feelings came back and by August of the following year we were engaged and married by November.

From that point life has been a whirlwind for us. Despite my being on birth control we were pregnant within the first month of our marriage. My beautiful baby boy was born two weeks late at the end of a VERY HOT august. At this time I was working downtown with a company that ran red light cameras and photo radar for the Portland police department and Marcelo was working for his parents company and going to school at nights. Nicolas used to go to work with grandma some days and stayed with my Dad on the other days. Even now he and my mother in law have a very special relationship.

Just before Nicolas’ first birthday I got a terrible “flu” or so I thought. After weeks of running to the bathroom, my boss (who had watched me through my first pregnancy) called me in and asked if I was pregnant again. I started bawling right there in his office! After a pregnancy test at home that night it was confirmed, I was pregnant again! I worked through the pregnancy until the beginning of March and then quit for good. I thought I would have a month to rest and spend time with my son before the new baby came but she was already so big I had to be induced 3 weeks early. So my feisty 10 lb girl was born.

When Amy was born Marcelo was finishing school and doing an internship at Intel. He likes to be in charge and he likes to be busy and the slow pace at Intel was driving him insane. In the spring of 2005 he decided to quite Intel and start Rogue Carpet Cleaning. This has been one of the best decisions he ever made, he loves the freedom of his job and seems to be a natural business man. Now that the kids are getting older I am also enjoying helping with the office work from home.

It has been a crazy and sometimes exhausting journey here but life has finally calmed down a bit and we have landed in a great place. Motherhood is definitely the hardest thing that I have ever done but also the most rewarding and most fun. I am so lucky to have married my best friend and sweetheart. We have built a wonderful life together and I am blessed to have a husband who supports my desire and commitment to being home with my children.

Monday, May 21, 2007

field trip to kindergarten

mothers day photo's

I went a little crazy with the new camera this day

my thoughtful family

So i was a little spoiled this mothers day. ok, i was a lot spoiled. My in-laws showed up the day before mothers day with a brand new dining room table. It is gorgeous and they are crazy! I married into such a wonderful family and am so lucky to have in laws that are so thoughtful and that love me too.

Marcelo suprised me this year too. He always is so thoughtful and generous with his gifts but is TERRIBLE at keeping secrets. Generally by the time a holiday or event comes around I have figured out what it is that he is trying to keep secret. (usually i keep this secret to myself - although now my gig is up) This time though I was completely surpised. I didn't think he was paying much attention to my little postings here but he must have been. He surprised me with a new camera so that I can post better pictures here on my blog becuase he see's how much fun it has been for me so far.

THe gift was wonderful but what was even better (and I don't think he really understands this part) was the sentiment behind the gift. It means he was paying attention, and that is really the secret to what woman want. We want them to be aware and paying attention to the things that are important to us. How lucky am I??

Soo, be prepared for tons and tons of new pictures!

Monday, May 14, 2007

miss you mummum

Friday, May 11, 2007

for my 'daisy' moms

For my friend:

I believe that daisies are an often overlooked flower; they are simple and lacking in strong fragrance, but to me that is what makes them so beautiful. Daisies remind me of mothers - often we lack the time to make ourselves outwardly beautiful and our daily activities are often not as exciting as other “flowers” out there. But the simple beauty and joy that we bring into the lives of the children that we devote ourselves to gives us a beauty beyond measure.

So today, I’d like to let my other “daisy” moms know how much I appreciate them. You are the women that get me through the roller coaster ride of motherhood. Thank you for being a part of my journey through motherhood, and thank you for allowing me to be a part of yours.

Happy Mothers Day,



While driving past the grocery store the other day I had a minor epiphany. I've been feeling the typical "why doesn't my husband buy me flowers....pick up his dishes...._________(fill in the blank with whatever your own pet peeve is). This is not a new phenomenon, this is the same scene that plays out in every marriage across the world since the beginning of time. Now, I have a wonderful husband whom I adore. He is my best friend, my rock, the glue that holds this crazy girl together. But he's not perfect and that is ok, I am far from it myself. He is hard working and a wonderful provider, he adores his kids and I know he loves me.

I think as women we bring it on ourselves sometimes, we try to be super moms, we chase our husbands out of our kitchens, tell them we don't want them to buy us flowers cause it is to expensive, ect. And then we complain when they don't want to help with the dishes or don't surprise us with a beautiful bouquet.

SO, back to my epiphany, I was feeling badly that marcelo had not caught onto my subtle hints for flowers (really you can't be subtle with men, they don't get it) when I drove past the grocery store and saw some beautiful arrangements outside. So I stopped, and I bought them for myself. A little gift to myself for the hard work that I do. I know my husband adores me and to be honest I don't need flowers from him to know that. I can buy them for myself. It felt good.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007


I am more then overjoyed to see the sunshine this week! I love Oregon and the beauty here, I even enjoy the rain at times, but mid-April I always start to feel that summer will never come and it is going to be cloudy/rainy FOREVER. (kind of like those last weeks of pregnancy when you are positive that you are going to be waddling around with that baby inside your overgrown belly for the rest of your life.)

SO, the kids and I have greeted this wonderful week of sun with open arms. Slightly traumatized from being cooped up in the house all winter with two toddlers we went a little overboard the past few days, spending every possible minute outside. I had forgotten how blessed I was to live in this area. This past sunday was family day, no work no chores - just family time, a day like this is rare. We hiked in washington park, took a drive into the city and finished the day riding bikes in the suburbs. How lucky I am to raise my children in an area with so many varied opportunities readily available to them.

I love the diversity of this area, already in toddlerhood they are comfortable walking in the woods, taking the max train downtown or racing their little bikes around the culdesac.

It is no more the an hour or two to almost any recreational activity that they could desire from skiing on the mountain to lounging on the beach. In the past two days we have picniced in the park, splashed in the fountain in the middle of the city and spent a lazy afternoon running the length of our own backyard with the neighbor kids.

With so much anger and hatred going on in the rest of the world I know it is naive to get caught up in the safety of my little bubble here. But how bad is that really? My children will grow up soon enough and learn the harsh realities of life, for now I think that I will continue to enjoy my bubble, and let my babies revel in the perfect days of summer....the perfect days of childhood.... FOr now I will shower them with love, and offer them every opportunity.

Our week in pictures

Thursday, May 3, 2007

mommy and amy's birthday pictures

Easter Pictures

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

mommy is repremanded

Last night Amy attended a function with me that required her to sit quietly for about an hour. At the age of three she doesn't sit still for much of anything and since I am not active in church she doesn't get much practice at the weekly 3 hour meeting sitting that I grew up with. Lets just say I was a little nervous.

Amy did quite well sitting in her pretty dress with her red sparkly shoes just dangling over the edge of the chair happily coloring on the back of the program. Every few minutes a loud whisper would come from her chair "mami! look at my flower". "yes honey, its a beautiful flower". "hey Mami! Look at that baby". "yes honey, thats a pretty baby" We went through nearly 40 minutes of me leaning over and reminding her "amy, amy we have to be quiet" "amy not now, remember to be quiet" many more times then she really needed. Finally after I absentmindedly leaned over during a musical performance to remind her once again not to talk (she wasn't even talking this time!) My little diva looked up at me annoyed and with all the attitude of a teenager my 3 year old said in a loud voice "Mami! YOU have to be quiet TOO!"
After the typical snickers of all those in the row behind me and my face turning a nice shade of red what can I do but hug her and laugh too, she's right, that shows me doesn't it! lighten up mom and be quiet!

Nicolas' shining moment

Today the preschool teachers' assistant was sick so amy and I volunteered to stay and help out. It was so much fun to watch Nicolas interact with his peers and his teacher. He is lucky to be in such a great class with wonderful kids that for the most part have excellent manners. There is the typical clashing: the boys chase the girls, the girls chase the boys; arguements over just who got to the bike first. All in all though they do really well.

Amy is almost 2 years younger then Nicolas and i was surprised at how well she was interacting with the rest of the class during our visit today. She sat when they sat (mostly) and even stood in line when it was time. (always staying as close to her brother as possible of course). One of Nicolas' best friends was quite jeleous of the fact that she was there and monopolizing Nicolas' attention. (we have had issues with this boy before) He started calling her names "stupid ugly girl" was the only name that I caught; even trying to push her out of line. I was apalled at the way he was treating her but before I could intervene my little man stepped in, put his arm around his little sister and looked his friend right in the face. With as much ferocity that a 4 year old can muster he said: "this is MY sister, you can't talk to her that way; You better leave her alone!" He then proceeded to walk out to the playground with his arm still protectivly around his baby sister.

My heart swells with pride just remembering it. There have been few times when I have been more proud of my son. That same passion that he used yesterday to fight and argue with her he uses today to protect and comfort her. I must be doing something right!!

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

we all win

It has been a crazy day, let me tell you! But at the end of the day they really are trying. Who knows what causes siblings to react like that one day and be fine the next. While I was driving around town today running errands I was reflecting on the morning and my reaction... I peaked into the rearview mirror to see my little guys passed out in their carseats. Snoring, drooling, the whole bit. It was the most peaceful moment we had had all day.

It is only natural to start wondering "why can't my kids be like this all the time? why don't my kids behave like those other kids!" I even caught myself earlier today asking "what is wrong with these guys!!". I stopped myself at this point, what a horrible mom I am being! Comparing my kids to other kids. There is absolutly nothing wrong with my kids. To be honest they are exceptionally well behaved most of the time. When they do act out they are behaving exactly like a 4 year old and a 3 year old should behave.

I think perhaps I am to tuff on them, expect to much. I have seen how smart they both are and sometimes want to treat them like they are older. What I should be doing is just letting them be kids. Pushing the limits and testing your boundaries are just part of the process of growing up. Wish me luck for more patience and understanding tomorrow!

May the best toddler Win

I think I may be going crazy. Who's idea was it to have my kids 18 months apart? Oh right, it was a surprise! My children have been competeing today since they first climed into my bed and looked at each other this morning. If I hear "mami, she hit me!" or experience one of amy's blood curtling screams one more time this morning I might just scream myself!

I've read the parenting books and I Know WHY they are clashing lately, I just don't know how to SOLVE it. Or should I solve it? Do i just step back and allow them battle it out and may the best toddler win? I have no experiense in this department, I have only one sister and she is 7 years younger then me. We never really competed over anything.

They are good kids and I have seen many times how much they adore each other. I've gotten the friendly advice and read the books (but seriously, how helpful are these books?). I know that AMy is trying to exert her independance and fight for attention because she is the younger sibling of a boy who loves to be the center of everything. I know that Nicolas is reaching a stage in his development where he wants some freedom and time alone with out his little sister hanging on him, especially since she looks up to him and wants to do EVERYTHING that he does.

I am sure that this is the same scene that happens in everyone home in every generation across the globe. I am sure that as soon as I figure out this stage in their development we will have moved on to something new.

(after all of my complaining here you know what they are doing now? Nicolas has turned on a movie -such a smart kid- and they are laying on the couch together getting along just fine) So it seems that they both came out of the morning alive and still loving each other.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Left Hook and is all over for pretty boy

Well my wife told me to write, cause she has been inspired lately. On the other hand I can write worth shit. But since I want to support my beautiful wife and best friend I will attempt to put my thoughts in paper. First you must know that is close to May 5, not May 4 which would be when Spiderman 3 comes out, but May 5 is called "The World Awaits" or some crap like that. Translation De la Hoya vs Mayweather so that is all I have in my head, boxing, boxing, boxing and work. Which drives my wife nuts, but she is very paitence and humors me a whole lot. None the less I have been a De la Hoya fan for many years, and I think he is going to be in a lot of trouble, cause F***ing Mayweather is a hell of a boxer, nonetheless he doesn't have the power or the drive of a great champ like De la Hoya and he has no one punch knock out. And if you are still reading this u are problaby getting bored if you don't like boxing or you might care what the hell is inside my head at the moment. Well thank you, thank you very much for reading this. And De la Hoya is going to win, by decision or Knock out, but in the case that he might not win, which is a posibility, don't attempt to conctact me, or feel pitty for me cause I will cuss u out, and I'm not kidding. Well isn't this been a waiste of 5 minutes in your life that you won't get back. Ha Ha Ha. First time blogger and Retired Blogger. Unless De La Hoya Wins!!!!

why i blog

It has been so fun to hear responses back from everyone about my first two blogs. It makes me feel validated in what I am doing, that I don't totally suck. I wish sometimes that I was the type of person that didn't need any validation, that I could walk through life with no self doubt or fear. But I do, I like to know that others think that what I am doing is ok, that I am "normal" somehow. Don't get me wrong I'm not some sappy push over, age and maturity have given me the ability to stand up for myself and I am learning more every day that it is ok to be myself.

I received an email from a friend of mine (who I will leave anonymous of course) who confided in me that she herself had attempted blogging and journaling and was sure that she was terrible at it. In this email was also admitted what a personal and private thing this was for her. This is something that I myself have thought a lot about over the past few days. My husband was very surprised when I told him I was starting to write again, he was shocked when I admitted to him that I was posting it on the internet.

My writing has always been a very personal and private thing for me. Most of what I write I hord and keep close, rarely even letting my husband read it. (I know this drives him crazy) I have been especially protective of anything written over the past few years. So what at this point in my life has driven me to start writing again. And what is it thats makes me want to post it? Why am I suddenly ok with other people reading about me and knowing my inner thoughts?

I don't think that it is so much that I am suddenly feeling overtly free and open with myself. To be honest there is a part of me that is terrified for people to read my thoughts, the part of me that is always there, always a little unsure, always a little cautious. Perhaps it is becuase for the first time in my life the other voice in my head is louder then my unsure voice. My new voice, the one that is happy with herself, happy with the direction of her life. Not just happy with my husband and children....which is important. But something deeper, the coming to terms with ones own thoughts and feelings and values. That deep breath we take at some point in our lives and say "ok, this is me".

We all feel the pressure, to be the people our parents raised us and desired for us to be. To be the person that society and religion and the media, ect, ect. want us to be. But in the end I am finding that if I am ever to have any peace with myself I have to push all of the "people I should be/ could be, whatever" out of my head and just be the me that hovers inside, the me that i know could be amazing and wonderful and proud, if I would just let her out.

It has been my lifelong battle to be comfortable with myself and I think this blogging is partly an attempt of mine to say Hey, here I am, this is me and I am ok with that.

In the end it all comes back to my children, as everything in life seems to right now. My greatest desire and goal is for them to be strong confident children. To become individuals that are comfortable enough with themselves to hear that inner voice and become the characters that they truly desire to be. Regardless of who I want them to be, or society wants them to be, blah blah blah. I want to be a good example if that. So finally, at the age of 27, with two children already growing and relying on me I am finally shouting to the world. Hey, here I am, this is me, and I am ok with that. It is about time, and to my two babies....this is for you. Follow in my foosteps.... follow that overused cliche "just be yourself, that is enough"

And if you need validation for that, thats alright, as long as you are strong enough to validate yourself and your choices first. And if you doubt yourself sometimes, that's ok too, it is healthy as far as I am concerned. A little self doubt keeps us humble, just don't let that self doubt become louder or stronger then you can handle. I know from experience how crippling that can be.

(alright I sound nuts! Voices in my head, coo coo!!!)

Thursday, April 26, 2007


This morning my children wanted to play playdough. I love for them to express their creativity and playdough is my daughters favorite activity. However, it is one of the more messy activities that goes on here at our house. So while I watched from the kitchen sink where i enjoyed the fun chore of washing dishes, nicolas and amy spread out over the kitchen table.... In minutes they had opened every single jar of playdough in the house. I may sound anal but i prefer for them to choose one color at a time so that they don't all mix together and i reminded them of this.

I left my two little monsters for a minute while I ran upstairs to change a load of laundry....from the laundry room i heard screams and laughter and I smiled to myself that they were playing together so well. A few minutes later as I came back down the stairs I realized that the house was silent. I froze mid step and listened....not becuase I was afraid something was wrong but because I know my little devils and the mischeif that they can create..... In my house silence means that they are up to something.... tip toeing down the stairs I peaked around the corner..nothing... down the hallway....into the dining room... HA they had already heard me and I was overtaken by two screaming little creatures rushing me from under the table.... On top of the table was a colorful mesh of playdough, embedded with every action figure / barbie doll they could find.

My first instinct is to be annoyed...all of that playdough mixed into some kind of putrid concotion... I quickly calculated just how long it was going to take me to pick it out of the tiny crevices of barbie doll toes and Ninja turtle swords.... Then I saw the grinning faces of my children. So proud of there masterpiece. So proud of sneaking up on mommy; my heart melted.

So today i spent the morning with playdough and action figures. It was messy and yucky and fun. It is easy to forget the joy of creating when we are adults. Caught up in the monotony and work of everyday life we forget the joy of squishing playdough between our fingers. They fun of molding something wonderful and then smashing it to a flat puddle and then starting over again.

Measured by the things that I crossed off of my to do list this was an unproductive morning. But measured by they joy in my childrens eyes and then relaxing of mommies heart it was imeasurable. For a few hours I wasn't mommy with rules and chores and caution. I was a kid with them, creating and discoverying, laughing and being silly.

It is so important as parent to step back from the rush of life sometimes and really play with our kids. Get our hands dirty and laugh with them. To remember what it felt like to see the world with innoncent eyes and hearts. I hope to always remember to step back and look at the world through their eyes. To always be able to jump in and play and laugh with them, no matter how messy.

Being a mother

i have heard that blogging is a great way to journal and get back into the writing frame of mind. I don't write much of anything anymore, not since my mom died. I had always wanted to write, but who has time for that anymore! Now with being a stay at home mom and helping with our business I find myself more and more on a toddler level then a creative writing or thinking level. The great tragic events of my day involve weather it is to wet and rainy to go to the park or not. Thank goodness for moms club, the moms of my playgroup are my sanity, somedays if marcelo is working late they are my only adult contact! It is great to let my little monkeys run around with the kids and just sit and talk with other stay at home moms who can relate to what we are all doing and going through. Todays conversation at playgroup has got me thinking a lot about what it is that I am doing as a mom....

I love being a mom, I will openly admit it is the single hardest thing that I have ever done in my life. On the other hand it is the greatest and most fullfilling experience of my life as well. My kids are at such a transition period right now. Nicolas will be starting kindergarden in the fall and Amy will be starting preschool...(how can I be old enough to have 2 kids in school!). It is an emotional time for me to watch my babies start branching out on there own. For so long now we have been each others entire universe and it a sweet mix of joy and trepedation to watch them begin to make new relationships and have experiences away from me.

As a mom you want to wrap them up tight and shield them from the terrors and pain of the outside world. Especially after events like yesterday shooting in want to wisk them away to some imaginary world where there is no hate or war or conflict. But as a mom you also want them to grow and be strong and confident well rounded individuals. I want them to know and understand that there is good and bad in the world...and how to choose and be strong. So you let them go and grow and become their own people and smile as there little personalities develop and blossom. Every day they amaze me with their independance and their knowledge.

Even at such a young age they have such distinct personalities. Nicolas is my little superhero...he is such a mix of emotions, at times tuff and independant, other times so sweet and sensitive. He is always performing... imagining... and questioning everything. I don't always have the answers for him but i try. He is a happy kid. I pray that the joy in his voice and that special spark that burns in his eyes will always be there, that i can create a life and world for him that will always be full joy and happiness.

Amy is my spitfire. She is cautious of people and experiences that she doesn't know, sometimes unsure of herself.....but fiercly independant... At her core she is tuff and strong and even defiant at times. She is my troublemaker.... beautiful and amazing and she knows it. My little mama's girl...always attatched at my hip, she looks nothing like me but still we are so much alike... She has a spirit that is ready to take over the world and enough timidity to keep her in check. For her I wish to teach the self confidence that I didn't have as a teach her that she is a beautiful women who can do anything and everything...
I want them to know that life can be magical and wonderful and to embrace whatever it is her heart desires without fear...without doubt.

Every day I pray to be good enough for them, strong enough for them... My whole world.